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  Emma took a deep sip of wine, peeking over the rim of the glass. She needed a moment to figure out what she wanted. Regarding Simone for a second. “All of it. The fun, the sex and most of all the romantic happiness.”

  Simone laughed. “Em, it is a daily battle. Not Brody, he is wonderful, it’s life that interferes. I’m dealing with my dad and trying to get my own gig going.” Simone paused and gave Emma a long look. “Em, you are beautiful and a kick ass fun gal, you should have no problem finding what you want.”

  Emma listened and nodded to her words. She was right. She didn’t have the stresses that Simone had. Was that the penalty? Everything being easy but love? Should she tell her about Derrick? If she did, that would mean her past would be revealed. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go there, especially with Simone.

  “Maybe my life has been too easy, and this is the price for it ... loneliness.”

  Simone rocked back and shook her head. She let out a huff. “No, you haven’t found him yet. Look at me. I was the poster girl for loneliness. I had no idea Brody would change that. It’ll be the same for you.”

  Emma frowned and decided she had to tell Simone. “Well, there is an old flame. I went to go see.”

  Simone took a gulp of her wine, then leaned forward. “Old flame? Who?”

  Emma wasn’t going to tell her too much. “Before we met in college. A surfer I got hooked up with. Nothing serious.”

  Simone knitted her brows as she spoke about Derrick. She had the ‘I don’t believe you look.’

  “I went down to a bar we used to hang out at, he popped in but nothing happened.”

  “Did you want something to happen?”

  Emma rolled her eyes. She could feel a hot flush rise to her cheeks. Geez, she had no shields to hide behind. “No, I left. I decided it was a bad idea. I can’t go back.”

  She lied; her heart cried for Derrick. The minute she saw him, he had her on the run. She didn’t care about his past. The sleeping around, catching him in the act didn’t matter. It had been back then, this was today.

  “No, you can’t or should you.” Simone stared at her with a disapproving look. “Why didn’t you call me before dredging up the past?”

  Emma shot a look at Simone. This is the part she dreaded. Being scolded. This was the old Simone. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  Simone softened her look and smiled. “I’m your friend, Em. I want you to be happy is all.”

  Emma hid behind her wine glass, sipping the Cab to ease her nerves. She was about to tell her to forget it and she’ll be fine. Simone kept going. “Look, Brody is having some of his friends over for a cook out this weekend. They’re nice guys, come over and take a look.”

  She laughed at the ‘take a look’ remark. It sounded like a cattle call. “Simone, you crack me up. I’ll go but don’t you dare say a word to Brody.”

  Simone crossed her heart and grinned. “Promise.”

  Silence fell over them as they looked down over the pool and drink wine. Emma replayed the words, ‘nice guys’ over and over. They did nothing for her. No excitement, no thrill.

  It was then she realized, she needed her bad boy.

  Chapter Three

  Emma

  She didn’t have the heart to beg off Simone’s invitation. Simone had been trying to make her feel better, to help her out. She appreciated it, but she wasn’t a basket case. Emma had no issue with her listening to her woes, but it was another thing to try fix her up. She didn’t want to meet anybody. Her heart told her that Derrick was the one. She didn’t need some other guy crawling all over her.

  Emma arrived at Simone and Brody’s and headed to the backyard as Simone told her to do. She kept a slow pace, craning her head to listen to the voices and gauge how many people were there. She dreaded the idea of an intimate get together. A big gathering would suite her fine and then she could escape unnoticed.

  She wanted to get down to Manhattan Beach and find Derrick. She hadn’t turned the corner before she heard Simone’s voice call out.

  “There you are, get over here.”

  She spotted Simone talking to two men. Emma put on her best smile and glided in Simone’s direction. Trying to be casual, she took a quick look at the two men. Both attractive, and in good shape. Both were corporate types. She could tell by their clothes and how they stood talking to Simone. One of them gave her a cool look while the other flashed a warm smile. Emma wondered what Simone told them. If Simone made her look like a charity case, she’ll kill her.

  When Emma got close, she waved. “Hey Simone.” There was a part of her that wanted to flash her old bubbly flirtatious self, but she thought better of it.

  “Emma, glad you made it.” Simone turned to the two guys and grinned. “Let me introduce you to these two handsome fellas.”

  Emma groaned internally. Damn Simone. This was a set-up. She straightened and kept the smile.

  Simone extended her hand to one of the men. “This is Mike ... and here is Blaine.”

  Emma hadn’t been in this situation in forever, if ever. She nodded and shifted her gaze to both men. “Nice to meet you both.”

  She had no idea what to do next. Thankfully the men greeted her and then the awkward air hung over them. Emma had no idea what to do, other than turning and running away. She shot Simone a pleading look to save her. When Simone grabbed her hand, she relaxed for a moment.

  Until Simone opened her mouth.

  “You know Emma, you and Blaine have something in common.”

  Emma froze. Bitch She was going to try and set her up with someone. The anger rose inside her. She gave Simone a scowl. How dare she do this to me. She stood there flummoxed.

  Then Blaine broke in. “A pleasure to meet you, Emma.” He flashed a smile that brightened his blue eyes. Emma turned to him with a thin smile. She was sure he had nothing to do with this lousy blind date that Simone pushed on her. Emma needed to get herself together and see this through. Who knows, maybe this Blaine fella isn’t so nice after all.

  Emma grinned and decided to make the best of it. “We’ve got something in common. I feel terrible for you, Blaine.” She laughed and for the first time, she felt like her old self.

  At that moment, Emma decided to be real and not let the pass dictate her life. Derrick had been the past, it had been familiar and dangerous. Who knows what Blaine or Mike were like? That alone confused her. It wasn’t Simone’s fault she was trying to help.

  “Hey Mike, why don’t we head over to the grill and let Blaine and Emma figure things out.”

  Emma gave Simone a wary glance. Then smiled. She’d play along and let life take its natural course. She looked back to Blaine.

  “Come on Blaine, get me a glass of wine and let’s see what game Simone is playing on us.” She lightened her tone and started to relax.

  Within a few minutes Blaine returned with some wine, and Emma found a place away from the small gathering. She plopped into a chair by the pool. She regarded Blaine as he came back with two glasses. He gave her the feeling he was an easy-going guy. He was average in every way. Dark hair with flecks of gray, dashing blue eyes and build that said warm and cozy. No muscle-bound hunk.

  When he set the glasses down half full of wine, she gave a warm smile. “Thanks.”

  He slipped into a chair across from her, and eased back in. Picking up a glass and grinned. “To our similarity, whatever that might be.”

  Emma laughed and took her glass. She took a healthy sip. “Do you get the feeling Simone is trying to set us up?”

  She sipped the wine. It wasn’t a question she had intended to ask, but she wasn’t going to waste her or his time.

  Blaine laughed and crossed a leg. “I’m sure of it. She thinks I’m one of those confirmed bachelors.”

  Emma’s eyes brightened. Confirmed bachelor was safe. She felt the pressure ease away. Easing back herself, feeling comfortable with that admission. “Are you?”

  That brought a deep laugh from him. His fingers toyed with
the stem of the wine glass. Blaine’s gaze tightened as he observed Emma. “I like being single. I’m no playboy though. There is a sense of freedom in being alone.” He picked up his glass and sipped some wine. “How about you?”

  He wasn’t going to let her off easy. He had a mysterious flare about him. He looked like he walked out of a toothpaste commercial but there was a secret. He might not be over the top handsome, but he had charisma. He had a subtle way about him. She set her wine glass down and looked away. Emma had never given her dating or mating life much thought. She lived day to day and took what came her way.

  It had been safer that way.

  She wheeled her eyes back to him and smiled softly. “I’ve never given it much thought. I do understand what your saying about being alone.” It never bothered her until recently. Was it because Simone had been alone too, and the old misery loves company? Maybe the upcoming holidays just made her realize she didn’t want to be alone. Emma wasn’t sure about anything anymore.

  She peered at Blaine. Did she want to go down this road? He seemed nice, maybe too nice. Was that her problem? The confusion swept through her. This was another bad idea. A sigh spilled out as she looked at him.

  The way he looked at her made her feel like they were on the same wavelength. What the hell is going on?

  Blaine chuckled and winked at her. “You don’t want to be, here do you?”

  Emma’s eyes widen. A blush filled her cheeks. Was I that transparent? “That easy to read, eh?”

  He nodded and kept the smile. “I think it’s what makes us similar. I can tell you aren’t all that into the corporate types.”

  She pursed her lips to those words. It bothered her. Emma never thought about a type for a man. She sighed and shook her head. “I’m not sure what I like in a man.”

  Liar.

  Blaine finished his wine and smiled. His blue eyes danced. What the hell, this guy has known her for like thirty minutes and is reading her like a book. “I’m good at reading people.” He set the wine glass down and leaned forward.

  “Simone invited you here to get out, mingle and maybe meet someone.” He smirked as he glanced over to Simone talking to Brody. “She meant well, Emma, she did. But ...” He looked back at her.” I could tell the minute I saw you; you weren’t comfortable being here. This isn’t your crowd. I don’t know what is, but this isn’t it.”

  She blinked. She started to respond then closed her mouth. For once she had no response. He laughed. “It’s okay. Brody has been trying to find a lady that is right for me for years. I get it.”

  Emma smiled softly. “I guess we are the same in that regard. Tell me what kind of woman do you like?”

  He grinned and gave a bashful smile. “Trashy.”

  Emma burst out into laughter. “No way. You look so GQ.”

  Blaine laughed with her. “I like my ladies straight out of tattoo shops, biker bars and the more bleach the better.”

  She gasped a sigh of relief. She had none of that going for her. “Aren’t you a bundle of surprises, Blaine.”

  “How about you?”

  Emma pondered that question for a long moment. Did she know? Or was it time to stop fooling herself?

  “The only man I have loved has a dangerous past.”

  His gaze shifted to a serious one. “How dangerous? If you wish to share.”

  She didn’t. Her concern was if she talked about herself it might end up back with Simone. Emma had been guarded about her past with Derrick. It was no one’s business but hers. She shook her head and gave a thin smile.

  “My past is my own. Not trying to be abrupt, but best I leave it where it belongs.”

  Blaine shrugged and smiled. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to pry, you brought it up.”

  He was right, she did open the door and she closed it fast. This entire situation started to make sense to her. She had no idea if Derrick had been doing dangerous stuff from the past. Maybe he cleaned up. It’s possible. There was only one way to find out.

  “I did and I realized I shouldn’t have. I apologize to you, Blaine.”

  Before he could respond, Emma knew she had to get out of there. It’ll piss off Simone, but she will deal with her later. It had been good to have a guy to talk to, and it clarified somethings. She rose to her feet and gave him a warm smile.

  “I’m going to head out. I appreciate the wine and chat, it really helped.”

  Blaine followed suit and was on his feet. “It was nice meeting you, Emma.”

  She got the sense he wasn’t going to pursue her. She appreciated that. Emma scanned to find Simone and wanted to avoid a goodbye. Simone would pester her about staying and she had to avoid it. She was no where in sight. Emma peered back at Blaine.

  “Do me a favor and let Simone know I had to go.”

  Blaine chuckled and nodded. “Sure. Get out of here, and if anytime you need to talk.” He reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a business card and extended it to her.

  Emma gave a soft smile and took it. Her gaze lifted. “Thanks for the talk, you were a big help.”

  He didn’t look crestfallen or perturbed, that made her feel better. He was a nice guy and maybe under different circumstances she’d enjoy dating him.

  “No problem. Go before Simone comes looking for you.”

  Emma giggled and turned and scampered out before anyone could snatch her. When she got to her car and got in, she sat there looking down the street. A soft sigh spilled out as she turned the key to start the car.

  I hope you know what your doing.

  Chapter Four

  Derrick

  He laid there as quiet as he could. He needed to avoid waking her. In that solitude his mind locked onto Emma. Why did she come back? In those brief moments he spent with her, all the old feelings roared back to life. He closed his eyes remembering the great times they had together.

  Why did I let her go? He knew why, he acted like he didn’t. Derrick scolded himself for being such an ass. It had been different back then. He had been reckless with his life and anyone that got involved with it. Emma had been a victim of it. At the time, he figured her to be a rich spoiled little bitch when she stalked off into the sunset.

  He pushed her right out of his life. That had been the way he handled relationships. Had he changed or was he rationalizing because she was back? Derrick glanced over at Taylor. She had been a handful and other times a blast. Had he tired of her or had Emma stirred up the unrest within him?

  His hand raced over his face; how was I going to play this? He wanted be with Emma. He needed time to figure out what he was feeling, and what was she feeling. Then there was Taylor. She was possessive to the point of being a distraction. Derrick never in his life had found himself in this spot.

  Had he changed that much over a few years? He caroused, banged any girl he wanted, and hadn’t walked away totally from the criminal life. Yes, he had pulled back from it. But there had been the occasion he dipped his hand in for a quick buck. That’s what drove Emma out. Damn her for waltzing back in like nothing happened.

  The longer he lay there the more he thought about Emma. What was she up to? Was it him or the past? He needed to find out. He looked over at Taylor. How was he going to handle her? She never gave him much distance. When her eyes fluttered open, he stiffened inside.

  She cooed. “Hey baby.”

  “Hey.”

  Her hand swept over his chest. Fingernails raked across the slab of muscle as she grinned sheepishly. “What’s my man got for me this morning?”

  Derrick groaned. Sex wasn’t on his list of things to do this morning, but Taylor expected it. The second he rose up and turned his back on her, he figured she’d get pissed.

  “What the hell is wrong?”

  Like clockwork, there she goes. He steeled himself for the fight that would ensue. “Nothing. I’ve got stuff that needs to be done.”

  Taylor huffed and he could feel her moving up behind him. Her tits pressed to his back as her arms swept aroun
d his waist.

  “Come back to bed, the stuff can wait. Taylor wants to take care of you, baby.”

  That was different. She normally goes right off the handle and starts accusing him of bizarre stuff. Derrick was tempted. She was a screamer in bed and the sex was off the charts. Any other day and he would be romping her blind, but not today. Uncertainty had been tearing at his insides. He knew what it was and he had to find out what Emma was up to.

  “I can’t, got to go.” He started to lift off the bed when he felt her fist pound his back. He spun around with a fury and without a thought his palm let loose and a smack echoed through the bedroom. The stunned look on Taylor’s face matched his. Derrick never touched woman that way. He had been a cad and jerk with emotions, but he’d been taught never to hit a woman.

  They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes. He started to give an apology, but her palm shot up and her head turned. He saw the tears streaming over her cheeks. He felt an emptiness inside.

  Taylor scooted off the bed and grabbed her clothes. Derrick stood there in silence watching her dress. Once she finished, she turned back to him. Her eyes were swollen, and a red mark blotched her cheek.

  “It’s her, isn’t it?”

  He frowned. Did Missy say something to her? Was he that obvious? “Her? What are you talking about?”

  She pulled a look as her arms crossed her chest. “Don’t BS me Derrick. That bitch strolls in and all of sudden you don’t want to screw and then hit me.” Her eyes narrowed as her jaw tightened.

  “I was no fool to hook up with you, everyone told me you were an asshole to women.” She caught her breath. “You never laid a hand on me, never refused me sex. One day an old lover walks in and you’ve changed. It’s her.”

  Derrick didn’t know what to say. Part of him was relieved she had figured it out for him. “I don’t know what it is, but I’m sorry for smacking you, that isn’t me.”

  Taylor grabbed her bag and swung the strap over her shoulder as she moved to the door to leave the apartment. She stopped and peered over her shoulder. He saw a solemn look cross her face. “Prove it.”