Loves Mirage Read online

  She slowed her pace and hugged to the side of a building. Her eyes scrutinized him. He had that sexy look. Damn he was right out of Point Break. That Swayze tan and hair. She giggled seeing how he dressed up for the occasion. Khaki trousers, green polo shirt and docksiders. She had never seen him with long pants on. He looked nervous to her. Perfect, that is what she wanted. Sure, some would say she was playing games with him. She wanted to hold the edge or he would think she came back to get laid.

  No way that was going to be the outcome.

  Emma pushed off her hiding place and strutted toward him. Smiling and waving when his blue eyes caught a glimpse of her. Derrick’s smile beamed and he came right at her.

  “I thought you might have changed your mind.”

  She grinned and went to her tiptoes, planting a kiss on his cheek. “Nah, traffic was lousy is all.”

  His arm slithered around her waist. Her heart pounded, her knees weakened and for that moment, this is what she wanted. Her brain blanked out as his body and touch drove the control mechanisms into gridlock. She floated into Scotty’s and found herself seated across from him without any idea what happened. Damn him. Emma took a deep breath to clear the lechery that took control of her. This was a first date, she reminded herself.

  The waiter dropped off the menus and took their drink order. She was sticking with water. There would be no seductive drinks to break her resolve. She glanced at the menu and spotted the Coconut Shrimp, peering up at Derrick. Emma tried to break the silence and push the topics away from them.

  “Do you have any plans for the holidays?”

  Derrick flashed a look to her. He gave her a funny look. “Haven’t thought about it. What about you?”

  “Going to stay at my folks’ cabin in Big Bear.”

  “Wow, I didn’t realize they had a place there.”

  Emma set the menu to the side and eased back into the booth. She was feeling calm. With a slight shrug. “They have had it for years but no one uses it. I thought it might fun and go somewhere that felt like Christmas.”

  He blinked with surprise. “You’re not going to be spending it with them?”

  She shook her head, feeling her blonde ponytail bounce along her neck. “They will be out of town. I don’t want to hang around in the city.”

  Derrick nodded and pushed the menu away. She could see the look on his face narrowed. His dirty blonde eyebrows knitted. Emma braced herself for whatever was coming next.

  “I’m not going to blow smoke, Em. I’ve never been a one girl guy. Is that what you want?”

  She was crestfallen. He wasn’t even going to let her eat a nice meal before stabbing her in the heart. He is a jerk ... a cruel one at that.

  Emma glared at him. She measured her words as the fury built up inside her. She sat there scolding herself for believing it would be different. She started to stand, there was no way he was going to humiliate her. He had done that in the past. This time that wasn’t going to happen.

  “Hey ... where you going?”

  She smirked. “As if you care.”

  The anger had taken hold, fingernails dug deep into her palm as she looked down at him.

  He sighed and shook his head. She figured he was exasperated. Was he that stupid about relationships? The seething inside her hadn’t abated.

  Derrick reached for one of her hands and she jerked it away. He looked hurt. Good!

  “I’m sorry, Em. I want to understand what you want.”

  She blew out a frustrated wind of air. “I want you to want me. To act like an adult within a relationship. Is that too much to ask?”

  “No, but I want it to be right this time, no misunderstandings.” His voice was sad.

  Emma sat back down and leaned over and took his hand. She pushed the anger away, she wanted this to work. The warm strength of his hand eased the tension boiling inside her.

  “Let’s take it one day at a time. There is no hurry here. All I ask is we behave like adults and talk it out.”

  Derrick gave a nod but his eyes moved past her. The look on his face told her something was wrong. He started rise but stopped halfway.

  “You’re a real bum, Derrick. I see why you blew off sex with me. Her? This bleached blonde skank.”

  Emma spun in her seat and looked up and saw a thin big boobed woman glaring down at her. She didn’t recognize her but figured out fast she had to be one of his gals. Perfect. Her mind raced with what to do. This wasn’t her fight but it wasn’t making this arrangement with him any easier. Did she need this crap? She snorted at the woman and laughed.

  “Funny coming from a gutter snipe like you.” She swivelled around to gauge Derrick. He sat there with a blank stare at whomever this girl was. That was a disappointment within itself. Emma waited for him to speak ... anything. But nope, stone silence. It dawned on her, he was an emotional wasteland and what in the hell was she doing?

  Taylor gave a loud laugh. “Oh, slut you are way down on the list, if you think he is into you. He is mine and you might as well get used to it.” She then moved in and pushed herself into the booth next to him.

  Emma was done. She wanted to cry for his silence spoke volumes and only reinforced that how this had been a bad idea. She was a fool for ever thinking he would change. She pushed herself to her feet. Stood there looking down at him, as this girl pawed him. He didn’t have the decency to look at her. He didn’t deserve a word from her. She spun around and stalked out of Scotty’s. It wasn’t until she got away from the place that she broke into a run. Tears spilled down her cheeks. Her body ached with humiliation and regret, angry with herself for believing he’d love her and be with her.

  He was the same and would never change.

  She heard him calling her name in the distance. Emma raced faster down the Strand to get away. Far, far away from him.

  ~*~*~*~

  Emma slowed her pace she was gasping hard. She didn’t look back, wondering if he had come after her, and darted down a small street heading back up to the Pacific Coast Highway. She took deep breaths as a finger swept away the tears from her eyes. The sniffling didn’t make catching her breath any easier. She had to get away and never come back to this place. What an idiot she had been. How can I love a man like that?

  “Emma is that you?”

  It was Missy and a deep groan ripped through her. This isn’t what she needed. She looked like hell and Missy would be right up in her face asking a tizzy of questions. There was no escaping either, with a sigh she turned to Missy with a weak smile.

  “Hi, Missy.”

  Missy’s face flashed concern as her eyes narrowed looking her over. She rushed to Emma. “What the hell happened to you?”

  “Nothing.” That response wouldn’t fool or deter Missy, but it gave a few seconds to get her wits about her.

  “Yeah, right. Let me guess. Derrick jacked you around?” The question was loaded with sarcasm as Missy took one of her hands.

  Emma bit her lip, and tears drizzled down her red cheeks. “He was part of it, but some girl came in and went bitch-o-rama on me.”

  Missy’s eyes rolled and squeezed her hand. “Taylor. She has been hanging on him for months. Total whore.”

  That didn’t make Emma feel any better. She agreed with Missy, this Taylor gal did look like a whore. That was unusual, Derrick had his pick of anyone, and rarely went for the trashy types. The girls he liked were right out of a Sunkist ad. Through a sniffle, “What’s he doing with her?”

  Missy laughed evilly. “She must do things that us respectable sluts wouldn’t do, that’s all I can say.”

  That made Emma laugh. Missy had a way of making serious stuff funny.

  “Look Em, the girl is a bitch with big boobs. She doesn’t love him. He is notch on her tampon.”

  Emma squinted through the kaleidoscope of tears. “I’m not sure he is worth it, or I have the energy to fight for him.”

  “Come on, it’s Margarita time.”

  She wanted to go home and have a gala
pity party. Missy tugged on her hand and without resistance she marched off with her to the Pub.

  Emma hoped this wasn’t another bad idea.

  Chapter Seven

  Missy

  She’d always adored Emma and had been bummed when she left the scene. She understood. Derrick and his crew were and are bad news. They are sexy as sin but in the end, a lady’s heart would get torched. It took a rare breed, like a Taylor, to run with that crowd and Em wasn’t cut out for it. She dragged Emma into the Hang Ten Pub, and before she could stop her, she pushed Emma into a booth along the back wall.

  Without looking to the bar Missy barked out, “Two margies, Mikey. A double shot for my bestie here.”

  Missy could see that Emma was trashed. She could only imagine the misery those two put her through.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  Emma shook her head. “It was a mistake on my part to think he and I could get it going this time around.”

  “I don’t know what you expected when you rolled in here, but honestly babe, nothing has changed. I mean Derrick has calmed down but he’s a flake when it comes to romancing and all that.”

  Missy recognized the pain in her eyes. She was a sweetheart playing with a buzz saw. That look on Emma’s face didn’t reflect defeat either, maybe hurt. Biting her lower lip as she gazed on her. “Do you want to fight for him?”

  Mikey arrived with the margaritas and Missy slipped him a wad of money. She canted a look at him. “Thanks Mikey, and I think some nachos would be good.”

  He nodded and headed back to the kitchen. Missy pushed the drink to Emma and lifted hers off the table. “Drink up then we can figure out how to destroy his skanky tart.”

  Emma took the margarita and took a deep sip. “Thanks. I don’t know. I’m confused. I mean, we were on the verge of a fight before she strolled in. That only made it worse.” Emma paused. “I’m at a loss what to do, frankly.”

  Hearing that forlorn voice, Missy knew Emma was into Derrick. What she didn’t know is Emma trying to change him, or figure out how to love him and hope he loves her back. Regardless, life had been a battle for Derrick, he had been playing it fast and loose since he could walk.

  “First things first. Lick your wounds, get drunk and then we will plan to ruin Taylor.”

  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out she didn’t like the bitch. Taylor had been as much a player as the crew, even worse. Missy had heard the gossip about her. She liked to party ménage style and with the enemy crowd. She couldn’t prove it. In some ways, the surfer crowd were like bikers. Each had their turf, waves and girls. You stayed out of each other’s waves and life was good.

  Emma gave a soft giggle and that was a breakthrough in Missy’s mind. She smiled when the nachos arrived. Pushing the plate closer to Emma.

  “It’s not ice cream but good all the same. Get some food in your stomach or you will be out in a flash.”

  That brought a smile to Emma’s face. “I don’t know anymore, Missy. I love him, but I’m not sure I can take his lifestyle.”

  “There is the rub. He isn’t going to change from the lifestyle, it’s branded in him. You might get him to be a solo player but the rest will be part of it.”

  “You’re right Missy, Derrick isn’t going to change. The challenge is can I accept him for what he is, and deal with? Can I tolerate the whoring around?” She wasn’t going to answer her questions. Missy knew that Emma had to process this on her own.

  “What would you do, if you were me?”

  Missy rolled her eyes and snickered. “That isn’t fair. I’m not you, but if I loved the asshole, I would go for it. Cloaking my heart for the eventual disappointment and pain he will bring. Have fun with him, enjoy the ride and once it got too out of hand, punch the ticket home.”

  She saw the frown on Emma’s face. She made it sound like she had to look the other way to get a piece of him.

  “I don’t want to be an emotional punching bag is all.”

  “You won’t be. You need to figure out your limit. How much of his BS will you take before you walk away for good?”

  “I’m not sure what I can take. I want his love in return.”

  Missy smirked and leaned in. “Girlfriend, good luck with that.”

  The sour look on Emma’s face spoke volumes. She wasn’t going to sugar it coat for her.

  “Look Em, go for it. What is the worse thing that can happen? He breaks your heart, but it’s final. You move on and meet a great guy. That lingering wondering is taken care of even if it hurts. But ...”

  “What’s that?”

  “I’ve got your back. You focus on him and let me help you with Taylor. I know stuff about her that will get her busted out of his sack in a blink.”

  Emma laughed and shook her head. “You’re evil Missy.”

  Missy grinned large and winked. “I know.”

  ~*~*~*~

  Emma decided to bunk with Missy for a few days. She wanted to get a grip on what was going on down at the beach and to be back in Derrick’s element. If she was going to chase him, she had to figure out first hand what was going on. It didn’t take long before the old group brought her back into the fold. Conrad ran interference for her with Derrick’s buddies. There were new faces and like any tight knit group they didn’t like outsiders. Conrad slowly broke down those barriers for her.

  She made an effort to avoid going moon eyes over Derrick when he showed up. With Missy’s help, she kept herself from doing something stupid. The only real hassle was Taylor. She was never far away from Derrick and the minute she spotted Emma; she was like a python slithering all over him. She noticed at times he looked uncomfortable with her presence, but he never pushed her away.

  Emma hiked down to the Strand. The day was brilliant with sunshine, the waves were slapping the sand hard and the warmth felt wonderful on her skin. She laughed at herself for being pale. She never had been the bronze goddess like Missy and the others. Her blonde hair and blue eyes kept her skin at best a honey color. She found a spot on the wall, where everyone gathered. It was early in the day, no one was around.

  Missy went for coffee and would be sliding by any minute. She scanned the beach losing her thoughts on Derrick. She wasn’t going to be aloof around him. She didn’t want to come off as a nasty bitch. He knew how she felt, it was up to him to prove to her what he said about wanting her. It was becoming apparent to let things take their natural course was the best option. That way over time she’d find out if his words had truth in them or he was lying. Missy had been right about one thing. If he breaks her heart this time, she was done and could move on.

  Lost in her thoughts she never heard Missy arrive with the coffees. It wasn’t until Missy nudged her arm with the cup, she pulled out of it. Glancing Missy’s way with a grin, and taking the to-go cup. “Thanks sweetie.”

  Missy nodded.” It’s all good, enjoy it ...”

  Emma took a sip and sighed how good it tasted. It was then she noticed Missy had a funny look on her face. She wasn’t sure if it was bad or what.

  “What’s with the look?

  Missy shifted her gaze to look down the strand. Her fingers fiddled with the cup before looking back to Emma. “You’re not going to like this. When I was at Dunkin’s a bunch of people I know were there. They got talking and the word is you are back here looking for drugs. That your scrawny ass was busted for possession and your loaded with STD’s.”

  Emma blinked. What Missy said floored her for a moment, then the anger began to rise. “Taylor. She’s behind it.”

  Missy nodded.

  The fury inside Emma was enraged, her hand crushed the coffee cup, spewing hot coffee over her. Emma didn’t flinch. She was furious. “The bitch. This was the game. She knows she can’t hold him so she abuses my reputation.”

  “She is trying to get at you.”

  She knew Missy had been trying to help her from going off the deep end in anger. Too late for that. “She succeeded and she will pay. Derrick isn
’t the issue, she is. I can roll with a ton of BS, Missy, but who I am and what I stand for won’t be torn apart by some slut.”

  Missy stared at her. “What are you going to do?”

  Emma smiled with an evil glint. “Nothing yet. But you said you had some gossip on her. What is it?”

  Two could play this game, and Emma intended to win.

  Chapter Eight

  Emma

  She wasn’t going to sit around and have her reputation trashed. The crowd had changed down on the strand, she didn’t need her name smeared with falsehoods. Emma figured Taylor was with Derrick. She grabbed Missy and they stomped off to Derricks place. It was far enough away that she would have time to plot what she was going to do. Her first instinct was to go all bitch on Taylor and embarrass her in front of Derrick. As they walked in silence, she decided she wasn’t going to give her or anyone the fuel to believe she was a drugged-up idiot.

  Control and the facts would persuade Derrick, Taylor was a hot mess.

  She peered at Missy. “What do you have on Taylor.”

  Missy grinned, “She runs with a crew on the side. The South Bay Crashers. They’re a surfer gang out of Redondo, punk asses that cause trouble. Word is they sell drugs and do a few robberies, like our old gang. Trying to make a reputation for themselves and push across boundaries. The story is Taylor likes to ride the pool table with all of them, at the same time.”

  Emma listened intently. It was like old times and for the first time she felt happy and like she belonged. Reflecting back on the past with Derrick. He had kept her an arms length from the unsavory stuff. She knew about it, but wasn’t involved like Missy and the other girls. They did bad things, and a few were dead or in prison because of it. A part of her wanted to find out if anything had changed or was it the same with Derrick? The other part of her said, who cares, you love the guy and ride or die.